I have spent the past year wearing nothing but yoga pants. In the winter months my yoga pants were accompanied by a long underwear shirt, Ugg boots and a poofy jacket. In the summer months my yoga pants (Capri length) have been paired with a wife beater tank top and flip flops. This has been my uniform for sitting around the house, going to the grocery store, picking the kids up at school, and about twice a week actually doing some yoga. I am not alone in my fashion reliance on stretchy black pants. In a city that pulsates with the energy of bored housewives on Zoloft, gym-wear is king.

On the runways of the YMCA, housewife chic is epitomized by three staple looks, all of which include the wardrobe staple of elastic waistbands. Look number one is the Crossfit Mom who dawns a pair of incredibly short and baggy running shorts at all times, even in the middle of winter. Is it really necessary to expose the entirety of one’s legs to sub-arctic temperatures in order to run? Whatever happened to grey sweatpants? They were good enough for Rocky. Look number two is Zumba mom. Her eighties inspired gym wear consists of fluorescent cargo pants, animal print, sweat bands and bandanas. Then of course there is the timeless classic of Pilates/Yoga mom. Her black stretchy Lululemons don’t leave much to the imagination but how is a Yogi supposed to perform the ancient ritual of downward dog without wearing $100 see through pants?

Many working moms may fantasize about ditching their panty hose and lounging around in elastics all day long. Trust me ladies, it gets old fast and your husband will start making fun of you and questioning your hygiene. If he were a stay at home Dad, he would surely wear his Sunday finest to walk the dog and feed the baby. For me, I yearn to put on a pencil skirt, uncomfortable heels, a little make up, and to have an excuse to take a shower every morning. It looks like I’ll be getting my wish. The classroom is calling and my husband has decided that my teacher paycheck isn’t so shabby after all. Stay tuned as Kafkateach braves the digital classroom next Fall! I was just informed that the district will be equipping all ninth graders with tablet computers. This could get interesting…