reality tv

Desperate times call for desperate measures and Kafkateach is desperate. So desperate that when a Hollywood casting agency randomly contacted me on Facebook about a new reality TV series on a major TV network (I am not allowed to name the network at this juncture) that was looking for teachers, I actually responded. I even went through a Skype interview but I’m not convinced that Kafkateach makes for great reality TV. I’m sure there are younger teachers with bigger boobs and nicer abs that might provide for better eye candy than myself so I offered to post the flier on my blog. I had to warn the casting agent that teachers are held to a moral standard second only to nuns and that we would not be able to run around wasted in bikinis randomly hooking up with hotties in hot tubs.  The good news is that there probably won’t be any beach scenes or hot tub orgies on this particular reality series. The bad news is that it involves you living in Kansas for a month. She said the filming would try to revolve around the teacher’s schedule and take place in the summer but most teachers in Miami probably don’t list Middle America as their top July travel destination. On the other hand, if you don’t have any exciting summer plans and need a way to pay the bills until your next paycheck in September this show might be for you!

By now you are probably dying to know what the premise of the show is. Like any good reality TV show, there has to be some element of social experimentation. The idea behind this reality series is to take professionals from major coastal cities like New York and Miami and send them off to Kansas to try to do their jobs in Middle America. Any reality series needs drama and I’m sure they are hoping to create some epic culture clashes. I get the impression that they are particularly looking for ethnic, swarthy, urban types who have never stepped out of the confines of their concrete jungles.  It might be slightly interesting to watch Kafkateach, an Arab Christian World History teacher, try to instruct a class of Kansas youth about the merits of the Islamic faith. Knowing reality TV, however, they would probably force me to wear a burqa and throw me into the classroom as the school’s new World History teacher direct from Kabul, Afghanistan. Watching Kafkateach get bludgeoned to death by some angry Middle American youth might make for great ratings, but my children need their mother. Imagine the headlines, “Destitute Miami Teacher Dies Filming Reality Series While Attempting to Bridge Cultural Differences.”

That’s where you come in young attractive desperate teachers of the the 305! I’d love to see a nicely physiqued Mr. Calle Ocho shirtless in a pair of overalls milking a cow or driving a tractor trailer! Imagine his disbelief when he walks into the local diner, orders a cafecito, and is stuck drinking a huge mug of water-downed instant Maxwell House instead!  “Good to the last drop mi culo,” he mutters. Maybe he could try to teach a salsa dance lesson to a crowd more accustomed to country line dancing? I’m sure the local farm girls would swoon over his rico suave moves. Let’s see how calling everybody “cono” as a term of endearment goes over in Middle America.

The series is looking to cast a wide range of urban professionals including real estate agents and people who work in the hotel industry so if you know anybody in those fields who might be interested in their 15 minutes of fame, feel free to forward them the flier.

casting call

Interviews will be conducted until June 13th. You can also contact the casting agency directly here

This is a huge opportunity for teachers of the 305 to represent on national TV! It’s your chance to make America fall in with teachers again!

If you would like to help Kafkateach stay in the 305, small donations are appreciated. Here is the paypal link